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gnomeseason A Good Night for Rockets -
haterichlove Karl. -
silverlining11 My compass spins, the wilderness remains -
spiral-tap Carpe Diem while Spiraling
Anonymous Asks:
the-loveline Said:
Yeah, pursuing someone you’re not actually interested in is pretty much the definition of leading someone on. It only results in heartache (on his part) and guilt (on your part) and messy situations in general.
I’ve found that it’s best to only really date people that you’re truly interested in, and trust me, you’ll know when you are! Otherwise, just friend zone him for now.
Anonymous Asks:
the-loveline Said:
As long as you’re both consenting adults, I don’t really see the problem. Yes, it’s possible that people will give you some grief over this, but as long as you are each mature enough to deal with each other as equals and no one is being taken advantage of, there’s really nothing wrong with this!
That said, you should be conscious of the fact that you two are probably at entirely different points in your lives. While a twenty-year-old is finishing college and looking forward to getting out and exploring the world, someone nearing thirty is more likely to want to settle down. Don’t be afraid to have the conversation about what each of you is looking for at this point in your lives if things get serious, and be honest about it. If you’re not looking for the same things, then don’t feel bad about calling it off.
However, you shouldn’t despair! It can work! As you get older, age gaps get proportionately less. Even short term, there is really nothing wrong with you dating an older guy. If you are worried about your friends thinking he’s sketchy, you might want to mention to them that your boyfriend is older than you before you introduce him to them. If they are prepared, it won’t seem as shocking. Just try to avoid putting people in uncomfortable situations and everything should be okay.
Anonymous Asks:
the-loveline Said:
Why? Probably because he wanted to make you jealous, although your guess is as good as mine.
Some people enjoy playing games, which is all about control. If I were you, I wouldn’t get further involved with this guy.
phil-cosby Asks:
the-loveline Said:
I mean, it’s only really difficult if you let it be difficult, y’know? Like things are only awkward if you make them awkward.
You can go up to her and start a conversation about whatever you like (or preferably, what she likes). Making a move always includes a certain amount of risk but it can be totally worth it.
Anonymous Asks:
the-loveline Said:
I really don’t think you have anything to be sorry for; there’s nothing wrong with knowing your limits and putting on the brakes. It sounds like you two were able to build a solid foundation for your relationship during that time, and that can only help your relationship in the future.
I’d say that the best way to reassure him is to talk about what you’re feeling and what he’s feeling, and let him know that you like where your relationship is headed and that you’re not going anywhere. He may still be unsure, but time will show him that you’re definitely interested in pursuing this with him.
Loveline Followers,
I’m so glad I have gotten the chance to contribute to this really amazing blog. It has been such a growing experience for me.
Unfortunately I will be leaving The Loveline, because I recently finished training to work three hours a week at a suicide hotline, Samaritans, which is based in Boston, MA, and serves the state of Massachusetts.
I really hope that The Loveline continues to succeed and that all of your advise questions be answered!
If you live in MA, and need someone to talk to, you can always call Samaritans at 1-877-870-HOPE.
Thank you all for such a great experience here at The Loveline!
You say:
Hi, I’m a girl, and I have a boyfriend. I love him so much. But sometimes he gets too controlling. Sometimes I want to have sex with other guys too. And hang out with my friends whenever I want. And smoke a cigarette when I want. He’s very controlling and doesn’t let me do a lot. Sometimes I just want to take a break. Not break up forever. Just take a break. Maybe for a week, two weeks idk. How do I explain that I still love him more than anything when I also need to be free sometimes.
We say:
I think it’s best to just be honest with him. Tell him that you’re feeling a bit smothered and that while you love him dearly, you need some space and time. Tell him that you want a couple weeks off from your relationship so you can have that space to do what you want and need, and that in a certain amount of time (like set a date) you’ll get back together. There’s no easy way to break news like this; be gentle but firm - this is what you need and don’t back down from it.
Be careful you don’t let these feelings linger on without addressing them, because they’ll only build up and breed resentment.
You asked:
hai, i’m a girl, my boyfriend and i have been together for 9 months, and i love him very much. but there’s two guys that i go to school with and i ride the bus with every day. i’ve been over to both of their houses and they’re a couple of my best friends. we have these jokes, whenever i upset them, i always say “makeup blowjob?” of course i never do it, i would never cheat on my boyfriend, but it’s just a joke and they laugh at me and forgive me for whatever i did. and they always tell me they love me. they’ve told me they think of me as their little sister. but the thing is, my boyfriend hates them, not because i’m friends with them, they’ve had they’re own problems. he hates when i talk about them and go over to their houses. i understand that it’s a little inappropriate the way i act with them, and my boyfriend understands that we’re just joking, but he still doesn’t like the way i act with them. me and my boyfriend have talked about it, but i don’t want to stop acting like that with them. they’re my best friends, they’ve never done anything to come on to me. my boyfriend thinks that they would take advantage of my if they got the chance. he thinks that they love me, like, more than a friend, but i don’t think they do. i’m just wondering if it’s okay to keep acting the way i do with them or stop?
We answered:
I think it’s probably okay, and your boyfriend needs to either get over himself or get out. These guys are your best friends and they will be there for you even if your boyfriend leaves. Although “Makeup blowjob” might raise a few eyebrows, it’s clearly a harmless inside joke. I don’t think that you need to risk the dynamic of your friendship for the sake of some guy.
Anonymous Asks:
the-loveline Said:
Talk about the weather! Talk about current events! Talk about a popular movie or book! If he’s wearing a button or a piece of jewelry or a cool shirt or a new hat, talk about that! The most I can suggest to you is don’t be shy or feel awkward - just be friendly!
Anonymous Asks:
the-loveline Said:
Hey, Anon -
I don’t think it’s “unprofessional” for you to slip him your number, although I hazard to guess he may get that tactic from time to time. At the very least I don’t think it’s inappropriate to ask out the barista, as one of my friends once had a barista ask her out and all that happened was they went on a date - so it can happen. If you’re a regular, work on building up a rapport to the point where you’d feel comfortable asking him to hang out when he’s not working. He deals with so many customers on a regular basis that you need to make yourself somehow memorable if you’re going to stand a chance. Be friendly, not creepy or agressive - you don’t want to get yourself kicked out of your usual coffee spot. And when you feel confident enough, ask!
